The Music

 

The Spenser: For Hire Theme Song

Recorded for the television show by the legendary jazz artist Grover Washington Jr.  Listen to it here

 

The Bullets and Beer official Theme Song

Let me once again thank Thom Brannan, contributor to this site and member of the rock band Joker Saints.  While I was clinging to the dinky little free web space my ISP allowed he let me store many megabytes on his commercial site. 

When Thom saw that I had taken the Fibs song as an unofficial theme he took the idea as a challenge and decided to record a song specifically for this site.  Ladies and gentlemen I present to you, the Official Bullets and Beer theme song.  It's a 3.7 meg MP3 file so if you have a dialup account it might be quicker to log onto his site and buy the CD.

 

 

 

 LYRICS:
yeah
I've been up and
I've been down and
it makes no difference to me
I'm the pilot
I'm the captain
yeah, of my destiny
this institution of
my resolution
leaves no room for fear
can't keep me locked up
because I'm stocked up
yeah, on bullets and beer

I want my bullets and beer
oh, bullets and beer

I've got my friends and
I've got the sand
to tell you just what I think
and it don't bother me
I just let it be
I'm not needing a shrink
so please don't lecture on
you've got my picture wrong
but there's nothing to fear
I know it's sappy
but to keep me happy
keep me in bullets and beer

I want my bullets and beer
oh, bullets and beer

 

The Bullets and Beer unofficial Theme Song

C'mon everyone, sing along to this little snippet here

Actually I've taken it a bit out of context.  I remember the controversy when this song hit the play-lists and rabid gun nuts denounced it as an anti-gun, anti-hunting song.  Nonsense; it was about the inadvisability of walking around in the woods with a firearm while under the influence of alcohol.  Pretty hard to argue with that.

It's from the CD Pisces in Crises by The Fibs, released in 1998 on Watchmen Records.  As far as I can tell neither the band nor the label still exist, and there are no copies for sale anywhere.  Sic transit gloria. 

Update:  Thom Brannan found me a copy and I ripped the song and added The Fibs - Bullets 'n Beer for you to listen to.  It's a 3.3 meg MP3 file, so plan accordingly.

According to Broadcast.com: The Fibs are guitarist Tom Fenton and bassist Jim Iarocci, the masterminds of the band, ably accompanied by drummer Jim Palys and guitarist Jim Whitford

 

 LYRICS:
He was a family man. He worked 40 hours;
middle-level management five days a week
in a corporate tower.
But every other weekend he and the boys
got away from it all in the woods with their military toys

(chorus)
Bullets and beer for the weekend, bullets and beer.
Bullets and beer, it's ammo and cheer for the weekend.

It was a cold clear morning, like any other
He tiptoed through the house, he kissed his sleeping children,
then he kissed their mother.
Gathered up his rifle, a case of beer under his arm
It was all in the bounds of the law what could cause for alarm?

Bullets and beer for the weekend, bullets and beer.
Bullets and beer, and a couple of deer for the weekend.

(bridge)
Found a note that said "Dear daddy, take care in the wood.
Make sure your day-glo hat's not obscured by your camouflage hood."

He was a family man and that's as much as I'll say.
I don't want to inspire the wrath and the ire
of the NRA.
But if you need a happy ending then end it as you wish.
If you don't just remember that some things will never ever mix.

Bullets and beer for the weekend, bullets and beer.
Bullets and beer, it's ammo and cheer for the weekend.
Bullets and beer for the weekend, bullets and beer.
Bullets and beer, and a couple of deer for the weekend.

 

The Drunkard's Song

Spider Robinson burst onto the Science Fiction scene with Callahan's Crosstime Saloon in 1977 and things have never been the same since.  He recently recorded a CD with several of the songs from the books and this snippet is from one of my favorites.  Visit http://www.spiderrobinson.com for more info. 

 

Sonic Attack

 

 From the days of acid fueled Space Rock, Hawkwind put out Space Ritual in 1973.   I've always liked this one


In case of Sonic Attack on your district,
follow these rules.....
If you are making love, it is imperative to bring all bodies to orgasm simultaneously
Do not waste time blocking your ears
Do not waste time seeking a soundproof shelter
Try to get as far away from the sonic source as possible, but do not panic.....
Use your wheels, it is what they are for
Small babies may be placed inside the special cocoons, which should be left if possible, in a shelter
Do not attempt to use your own limbs
If no wheels are available, metal, not organic, limbs should be employed whenever practical.....
Remember, in the case of Sonic Attack,
Survival does mean every man for himself
Statistically more people survive
if they think only of themselves

Do not attempt to rescue friends,
relatives, or loved ones.
You have only a few seconds to escape
Use those seconds sensibly or you will inevitably die
Do not panic
Think only of yourselves....

These are the first signs of Sonic Attack:
You will notice small objects, such as ornaments, oscillating.
You will notice a vibration in your diaphragm
You will hear a distant hissing in your ears
You will feel dizzy
You will feel the need to vomit
There will be bleeding from orifices
There will be an ache in the pelvic region
You may be subject to fits of hysterical shouting,
or even laughter
These are all sign of imminent Sonic destruction
Your only real protection is flight
If you are less than ten years old,
then remain in your shelter and use your cocoon
But remember: You can help no-one else,
No-one else,
No-one else......