I've been trolling alt.humor.best-of-usenet in search of more funny postings about other authors and such.  Here's what I found so far.

Subject: What if? 
From: "Apteryx" <a.mutch@deletethistoreplyxtra.co.nz>
Newsgroups: rec.arts.books.tolkien, alt.fan.tolkien

I have just been considering what is, at the moment, my all time favourite film - you know, just in case it should have to be revised soon :)

I think it is Casablanca, by a short head from The Maltese Falcon, Vertigo, and PJ's earlier Heavenly Creatures.

On the surface, Casablanca is a very different film from what LOTR is likely to be. But what if its not? What are the odds on any of the following great lines apearing?

"Of all the hobbit-holes in all the lands of Middle Earth, It has to roll
into mine"

"Here's looking at you, kid" (by the Witch King to Frodo on Weathertop)

"Might as well be frank, monsieur. It would take a miracle to get you out of the Shire, and the Nazgul have outlawed miracles"

"You repeat "Third Age" as though you expected there to be others!"

"We'll always have Cerin Amroth"

"If that Eagle leaves the ground and you're not with it, you'll regret it.  Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life"

"How extravagant you are, casting down Balrogs like that. Some day they may be scarce"

"I think this is the beginning of a beautiful fellowship".

And of course:

"Play it again, Sam"

But we will not doubt have to wait until ROTK for my favourite Casablanca

"Sam: Mr Frodo, what in heaven's name brought you to Mordor?
Frodo: My health. I came to Mordor for the waters.
Sam: The waters? What waters? We're in the desert.
Frodo: I was misinformed"

Subject: LoTR tie in 
From: jawolf@mediaone.net (James A. Wolf)
Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv.mst3k.misc

Three drinks for the Burger Kings under the sky, 
Seven burger for the Dwarves who are stoned, 
Ninety million consumers doomed to buy, 
One cut for the Dark Lord, the franchise he owns 
In the land of Mordor where the Whoppers lie. 
Onion ring to rule them all, onion ring to dine them 
Onion ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them 
In the land of Mordor where the Whoppers lie.

Plagiarized from multiple sources. I'm a naughty boy.

Subject: Re: LOTR Will Make SW Its Bitch 
From: obeekris@hotmail.com (ObeeKris)
Newsgroups: rec.arts.sf.starwars.misc

rimrun@NOSPAMdrizzle.com (Rimrunner): 
> Is it just me, or does the guy playing Legolas look a hell of a lot like 
> Jason Mewes?

LOTR as written by Kevin Smith:
Legolas: We're gonna take the f**kin' ring, and we're gonna get to f**kin' Mordor, and we're gonna take the f**kin' ring and shove it up Sauron's a$$, and then we're gonna throw his a$$ into Mount Doom, and we're gonna send that Gollum b**ch back to the pit he crawled out of, then we're gonna kick the sh!t outta the damn orcs. Ain't gonna be nobody f**kin' with my boy Frodo!

Subject: Lord of the Teletubbies (was Re: Violated) 
From: tph@pcisys.no.spam.dammit.net (Tom "Tom" Harrington)
Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Organization: Tigers on the Roof, Inc.

But there are other Teletubby-related issues of more current import.
Consider, for a moment, their house. It seems to rise up out of the
earth to hold them, and has round doors and hallways. In fact it's
almost exactly like Hobbit houses are supposed to look. And anyone
who's seen LOTR previews has already seen that this is almost exactly
what the filmmakers have decided as well; scenes in the Shire are
filled with what appear to be Teletubby houses.

So, are the Teletubbies actually Hobbits? Just picture it:

"The time has come to speak," said Gandalf, "Give me the ring
for a moment."
Tinky Winky took it from his purse, where it was clasped to a
key-ring. He unfastened it and handed it slowly to the wizard. It
felt suddenly very heavy, as if either it or Tinky Winky himself was
in some way reluctant for Gandalf to touch it.
Gandalf held it up. It looked to be made of pure and solid
gold. "Can you see any markings on it?" he asked.
"No," said the bright-eyed Tinky Winky, shaking his purple
head from side to side, "no makkins."
"Well then, look!" To Tinky Winky's astonishment, the wizard
threw it suddenly on the floor, by the Noo-Noo. The Noo-Noo used its
snout like a flamethrower to blast the ring with flame.
"Again! Again!" cried Tinky Winky, excitedly.
No apparent change came over the ring. After a while Gandalf
got up, closed the shutters outside the window, and drew the curtains.
The room became dark and silent, though the squeaking of Po's scooter,
now nearer to the windows, could still be heard faintly from the
garden.